Life is a curious thing. We go through it with various crutches; hope, acquaintances, religion, work... even a journal. When we're unhappy, we often don't seek to change the situation so much as seek to sate it. For the past year and a half or so, I've thrown myself into work and have subsequently become financially successful. I could write a check for a new Hummer if I wanted, but I don't want. I don't want anything materialistic. And as much as I can't believe I'm saying it, I've finally realized that money and objects don't make one happy: they're only crutches... And that's the thing about crutches, they're ok to have when you don't need 'em. You can keep them for when you do, but you should learn to walk again. You should learn to run.
I yearn to walk again. I yearn to run. But the crutches have been a part of my life for so long, it's almost as though my hands are bound to the handles and my armpits to the rest.
But, of course, now the curious point of it all is that speaking it out loud, how can I not make the changes I need to remove the need for those crutches. How can I not make an effort to walk, to run?
And so, I will try this week to make, to start making, some of those changes. Time will tell for this 27 year old somewhat smarter and wealthier but still growing fool.