And so, I decided to create this web page, summarizing my life...
Yet how can I summarize my life and compress months into a paragraph? Life is made by nuances, and nuances are lost in summaries. There are no Cliff Notes for my life. Even I found things I did not know by re-reading the diary, so here's the beginning of this compressed version of my life if you insist, but I urge you to start at "the beginning" or start from now and go from there.
As I said, this is the beginning
of what was to be the summary page. If you do read it, take it as such.
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If reading the entire diary just isn't an option for you right now, here's a primer to how I got to where I am now. Four years in four hundred words. My first boyfriend was Adam. I met him in Boston after he responded to a personal ad I placed on the newsgroups (back before the world wide web and the Internet were household names). He also went to Boston U., but he wasn't out, we took alternate paths to avoid his friends, and I required more romance than his straight Tennessee boy mindset could give. It took its toll on me, and I broke up with him. He subsequently dropped out of school and went back home. At a dance at MIT, I met Jeff. He and I dated for a while and he was antithesis of Rob. Flowers, Valentine's Day cards, fixing dinner, buying a bed for his new apartment with me along for the shopping trip. Picture perfect... but it soon fell apart and I realized in hindsight that it was only picture perfect. Adam loved me, Jeff was going through the motions. After seeing my first male stripper and going on a pretty horribly amazing (or amazingly horrible) date, I met Rob. We were friends for a while, and then more, but I was still looking for that red headed knight. I found a possibility with a red head in Kentucky, of all things, but he was too screwed up from hating himself. Rob came to Kentucky midsummer 1995 after a phone call whereby I tried to define our relationship as really close friends, and a lot of the next few months were spent trying to deal with my still wanting my red headed knight and Rob wanting me. We dated and even tried starting a company together, but it just didn't work. In comes Larry, who responded to a downhearted journal (caused by lack of financial aid for my second year at Boston U.) with an offer to fly Rob and I out to California for a week. I didn't take him up on the offer, but he helped me get back to Boston and eventually visited. As a
total aside, skimming over the entries, I saw the name Jefferson in
the list of guys who offered to loan me money to help me get back to
Boston. Yet not until right now did I ever put together that Jefferson
is Jeff who I now know personally. |
